Where Is the Soap?

Yesterday I went into what we call the “boys’ bathroom”. The shower door was open so I could see there was no soap in the soap dish—bottles of shampoo, one for each, but no soap. I would get to the bottom of this I determined. “Clark, when you take a shower each morning, what do you use to wash yourself with?” “Water.” “Water? How long has this been going on?” my mind yelled, not in anger but in disbelief. I distinctly remember teaching them to bathe with soap. “Philip, when you take a shower, what do you use to wash yourself with?” “Shampoo.” Well, at least that was soap. I couldn’t believe it. When did they stop using hand soap? I felt like a negligent mother who hadn’t noticed something so simple and basic like not using soap when they showered. Of course I haven’t personally supervised showering since they got old enough to start shaving but Paul has. Where else have I failed and when will I notice? This morning a smiling Clark came to me with his hand extended and in his palm was a bar of soap. It is a good thing that it is not too late to make a change. I just need to remember to check the soap dish in the “boys’ bathroom” periodically.

"A Present for Me?"

A week ago Paul and I were in Las Vegas for my nephew’s wedding. In the days leading up to our departure Clark was a wreck. “I go with you please.” “No, Clark, just Dad and I are going.” “Please. I’ll be good. I’ll be nice. You’re lucky you get to go.” The frequency of this conversation increased in number as the day of departure approached. Finally we were in bed, late, with the alarm set for 3:30 a.m. so we could make a 6:00 a.m. flight. Under the door a sheet of paper appeared. This was Clark’s way of apologizing for getting upset because he couldn’t go.

We called home a few times to make sure all was well. “A present for me?” Clark asked. “You’ll have to wait and see.” I told him. When we arrived home it was one of the first questions both Clark and Phil asked. Since this wasn’t a long trip we actually hadn’t bought anything but of course I didn’t tell them that. I had leftover Halloween candy they didn’t know about that would please them as much as anything so I put together two bundles of tootsie rolls. When Clark saw his bundle his face lit up “Thank you Mom.” and with that he gave me a big hug and then removed one and gave it to me before he even ate one himself.

We arrived home late Monday night and then we were leaving Wednesday. I was lecturing on fragile X at Centralia Community College Wednesday night and then we were spending the night in Olympia at our daughter’s. All day Tuesday requests to go with us came from Clark. The conversation sounded much the same as it had the previous week. “No Clark. We’ll only be gone overnight.” While we were reading in bed Tuesday night Clark came in and started dusting our bedroom as he talked about how nice he is. The next morning before we left he was in our room dusting again and this time vacuuming as well. Finally my heart was softened and I gave in. “Okay Clark you can go with us but you have to shower and pack and be ready to go in 30 minutes.” And he was. We had a discussion about appropriate behavior at the lecture since he would see pictures of him (as well as Phil) and would hear me talk about him. He was amazing. He sat on the front row by himself for two hours (Paul was on the back row) with his baseball hat on and his hands clasped together. It was definitely the right thing to do—to take him with us. We celebrated after with ice cream at McDonalds. This is his thank you note for letting him go with us.

Instructions That Came with the Bread Maker

1. Plug in the bread maker.
2. Pour in the ingredients.
3. Choose setting.
4. Pull the machine close to the edge of the counter.
5. Push start and let the fun begin.

A Sweet Thank You

Phil came into the study where I was at the computer. He was laughing excitedly as he pasted something on my back and then ran out. I reached back and peeled off an envelope.
"What is the thank you for?" I asked the still excited Phil who had reappeared at the door.

"For cutting my hair."

I told him that was one of the sweetest thank yous I had ever received. It brightened my day.

(Sondays is Sonny, a name I call Phil.)